The Five Step Plan to Win Yourself a Slytherin
by Ayla Pascal
Summary: "It was the perfect plan. And like all good plans, it was simple. Percy had abandoned the idea of complex plans after his first attempt at regulating cauldron bottom thickness had ended up in a triple homicide."


**Author Notes**: Thank you to aigooism for the beta!

**Step 1: Come Up With a Plan**

It was the perfect plan. And like all good plans, it was simple.

Percy had abandoned the idea of complex plans after his first attempt at regulating cauldron bottom thickness had ended up in a triple homicide. To this day, Percy still wasn't sure why an extra centimetre made such a difference. It wasn't as though it was difficult to make the cauldrons thicker. It only amounted to an extra sickle or so per cauldron. Still, the cauldron companies were _furious_ at his suggestions, and he had to spend meeting after meeting placating them. After the tenth meeting that had run into dinnertime, Percy realised that he didn't really care that much about cauldron bottom thickness any more. Sure, there were problems when the inferior cauldrons were overheated, but it wasn't worth re-writing his paper after every stakeholder meeting.

There were better ways to change the world. There had to be. Percy knew that he just had to find one of them.

Unfortunately, the cause for house elves was already taken, and frankly, Percy couldn't see the point of forced liberty anyway. But he was sure that there were other causes out there that were far more worthy than ensuring cauldron bottoms were at least 3.64 centimetres and made out of an alloy that was resistant to over 400 degrees.

It was a warm Monday morning, full of meetings, minutes and papers, when Percy found his new calling. He was juggling rolls of parchment when it suddenly came to him. It was the perfect idea. A piece of paper floated from the pile in his arms and fell to the ground, but he didn't move to pick it up. The piece of paper – detailing the minutes of the previous meeting with the cauldron company representatives – just wasn't important to him any more. Not compared to his new plan.

It really was a good plan; Percy congratulated himself. He couldn't help grinning. No, it was an _excellent_ plan. And more importantly, it didn't need project schedules or charts or graphs to implement.

Like the best plans, his plan was all about hearts and minds. The regulations were already there – thanks to the tireless work of Hermione Granger. Percy had admired her singular will to achieve what she set her mind to, and he definitely agreed with her latest goal. But she was going about it all the wrong way. The Cultural Reform Act 2015 simply wasn't doing its job properly. People still weren't hiring Slytherins if they could help it; Percy couldn't remember the last time somebody he knew had dated one.

But Percy knew how to fix it.

It was all about setting an example. It was all about showing people that not all Slytherins were Death Eaters and that most of them were ordinary, hardworking people. It was all about somebody taking the first step. It was all about somebody being willing to stand out of the crowd, to stand up for what was right.

And Percy knew he was the right fellow for that.

* * *

><p><strong>Step 2: Initiate<strong>

The sound of a woman clearing her throat brought Percy out of his reverie. The lunch menu always tended to send him into a daze. There was never anything good to eat in this place. If he didn't know better, Percy would have sworn that everything served was transfigured by a first year Hogwarts student using a borrowed wand.

"You alright there?"

Percy blinked and focused on arched eyebrows. He blinked again. The woman looked familiar. He struggled for a second to recall a name and finally was able to come up with one. "I'm fine, Pansy."

Her lips quirked into a small smile. "I'm surprised you know me."

"I make it my business to know everybody," Percy told her.

"Is that so?" Pansy gave him a long, hard look.

Belatedly, Percy realised that his statement might have been slightly creepy. "So what brings you here to the Ministry today?" he blurted out.

"Definitely not the food," Pansy muttered as she scrutinised the menu. "Beans, beans and more beans."

"And sometimes, on Fridays they serve cheese with the beans," Percy offered. "I wouldn't recommend it though."

Pansy looked amused. "I think I might just get a pumpkin juice."

"Good choice."

They moved along in the lunch queue as Percy summoned up every bit of Gryffindor courage he had. This was the perfect opportunity to put his plan into action. He had an opening in his team investigating cauldron companies. They needed somebody in the team almost immediately; there was no time for interviews. From what he remembered of Pansy from Hogwarts – which, admittedly, wasn't much – she seemed to be a good student. In any case, she couldn't do worse than some of the previous team members he had. Some of them couldn't tell the difference between a three centimetre cauldron bottom and a five centimetre cauldron bottom.

Percy took a deep breath. "Given the sub-standard lunch menu, it would honour me if you would accompany me to a dining establishment this evening?"

Pansy gave him a blank look.

Perhaps he'd been too vague. Percy cleared his throat. "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?" There. That was crystal clear. No chance of misunderstanding.

"I got you the first time," Pansy said irritably. "Why?"

It was Percy's turn to blink and stare. "Why what?"

"Why on earth are you asking me on a date?" Pansy clarified. She leaned backwards and crossed her arms, giving him a view of her ample cleavage. From the wriggle and smirk, it was obvious that Pansy knew perfectly well where he was looking. "Do you always ask random women out on dates?"

Percy flushed. "I... I..." It wasn't really a date, but he couldn't tell her his real intentions. That was an important part of his plan. He couldn't allow the other person to be embarrassed in any way. This wasn't _charity_. This was him doing the right thing. "I know a really nice place in Hogsmeade."

Pansy leaned back slightly and seemed to study him. "Sure."

Percy's eyes widened. "I'll see you at seven, then," he blurted out.

* * *

><p><strong>Step 3: Clarify intentions<strong>

Percy was nervous. Really nervous. Ridiculously nervous, really, given that it wasn't a real date. "It's a wonderful team to work in," he said enthusiastically. Or at least, Percy thought that it was enthusiastic. From the expression on Pansy's face, he suspected that he might have gotten closer to extremely boring.

"I see."

"There are plenty of benefits," Percy chattered on. "And you'll be working with me."

Pansy gulped down the last of her glass of wine and then reached over to pour herself another glass. "How exciting," she drawled. "Do tell me more."

"Cauldron bottoms are fascinating. It's a very important job. After all, if cauldron bottoms aren't of the correct thickness, then students and potions masters alike run the risk of being seriously injured or worse! It's important that the alloy is..." Percy jumped.

Pansy's eyes gleamed. "Do go on."

Percy's heart seemed to have jumped into his throat. He wasn't quite sure, but he could have sworn that Pansy's foot was currently in the vicinity of his crotch. "I... uh... what on earth are you doing?"

"We _could_ continue to talk about cauldron bottoms..." Pansy murmured and then trailed off.

"Or?"

Pansy smirked. "What do you think?"

Percy gulped. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been in a situation like this. In fact, he hadn't been on a date in over two years, and the last date he'd been on had been an unmitigated disaster. She had run away screaming, and Percy still hadn't figured out why. In comparison, this non-date was going on splendidly.

"Have more wine," Pansy offered.

Hastily, Percy drank a few mouthfuls. "It's quite good," he said as he sipped from the glass. "Goes wonderfully with the food."

Pansy smiled. "I'm glad you think so."

Percy inhaled sharply as he felt her hand on his thigh. "That feels quite good too," he managed to get out, his voice sounding strangled.

Pansy's smile widened. "I'm _very_ glad you think so. Shall we get out of here?"

* * *

><p><strong>Step 4: Seal the deal<strong>

Pansy was definitely different from any of the girls he had previously been with. For one thing, as soon as they had got to his flat, she had shimmied out of her robes and kicked them across the room. Her nipples were pink and hard in the dim candlelight. "Are you going to just stare or were you thinking of actually doing something tonight?" she asked tartly.

Percy took a couple of steps forward. His robes were feeling uncomfortably tight.

Pansy's gaze flickered down to his tented robes. "Shy, are we?" she murmured as she closed the gap between them. Her hand reached out and rubbed his erection. Percy gasped as he could feel himself straining. Damn it, that simple touch shouldn't have felt so good but it did. Pansy's eyes glittered as she licked her lips and then knelt down.

Almost automatically, Percy found himself unbuttoning his robes and letting them fall down in a puddle at his feet. He was about to reach down to pick them up when Pansy placed her hands firmly on his hips.

"You really shouldn't be thinking about your robes right now," she said softly.

Percy inhaled sharply as her mouth enclosed warm and wet around his cock. Her tongue ran along the underside, coaxing an involuntary groan out of him. He reached down and ran his fingers through her thick, silky hair. He wanted to just thrust, thrust and _thrust_ into her mouth until he came down her throat, but there was a part of his mind that asked him _what he was doing with Pansy_?

Pansy shifted slightly, and Percy could see one of her hands going down to rub her clit while the other hand enclosed around his cock. She took one last lingering lick of his cock before she reached up and pulled him down.

"Oi!"

With surprise, Percy found himself laughing as he half-stumbled, half-fell down next to Pansy who simply gave him a _look_that suggested he ought to be more graceful. In one smooth movement, she straddled him and then Percy found her sliding down onto him, wet and tight as she gripped him with her knees. As Percy looked up, he could see an almost dreamy look on Pansy's face as she ran a finger over her clit. Percy dug his fingers into her hips as he buried himself deep inside her.

"Enjoying yourself, Weasley?" Pansy murmured into his ear.

"Y-yes," Percy gasped.

Afterwards, they lay tangled in a heap on the floor, and Percy couldn't help thinking that he'd never experienced anything quite like _that_ before. He was about to open his mouth to say something, _anything_, but Pansy simply gave him an impish grin before rolling over and seemingly going to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Step 5: Voila! You now have a Slytherin in your employ.<strong>

"Weasley, you're a dolt."

Percy stared.

Pansy poked him in the shoulder. "I'm up here, Weasley."

Blinking slightly, Percy re-focused his eyes on Pansy's face. "Uh, do you think you could maybe cover those?"

Pansy crossed her arms over her naked breasts. "No," she snapped. "I didn't take you for such a prude. Not after what we did last night, anyway."

Percy could feel colour flooding his cheeks. Ah. What they did last night. He couldn't believe that had happened. That hadn't been part of his plan. He was supposed to have taken her out to dinner. Then they were supposed to have chatted about innocuous subjects over drinks and entrees before Percy would have oh-so-casually brought up the fact he had a position opening up in his team. He would have told her that it wasn't a big position, but that he'd heard that she was looking for work and that work was work, right?

"Don't think I didn't know why you invited me out for dinner," Pansy said as she waggled a finger in his face. "All that talk about your stupid cauldron bottom team and how you have an opening."

"I was just trying to be helpful," Percy protested.

Pansy had an odd expression on her face.

"I know it might not be the most exciting job and all," Percy burst out. "But it is a job and with the current economic climate, you really can't be picky about those things. And it _is_ important work!"

Pansy coughed.

"I know it's going to be awkward..." Percy waved his hands about and somehow managed to catch the edge of Pansy's nipple. "Given what happened last night and everything, but..."

"Can you just shut up for one minute so I can tell you something?" Pansy interrupted. "I already have a job."

Percy's mouth dropped open. "You..."

"I already have a job," Pansy repeated flatly. "I can't believe you don't know that. I run a chain of very successful wineries. We had a bottle of one of my wines last night. Don't you remember the label?"

Percy frowned. Dimly, he could remember that the label said _Parkinson Estates_. "Oh," he managed to get out. His gaze flicked to the door.

Pansy sighed. "You really are something. And don't you dare thinking of running out the door."

"I wasn't!"

Pansy raised an eyebrow.

"Okay," Percy admitted. "Maybe the thought crossed my mind. But only for a _second_."

Shaking her head, Pansy reached over to grab a shirt. She pulled it over her head. "You really are condescending at times, Weasley," she said, her voice muffled by the shirt. Her head popped out the top of the shirt, and she smoothed it down. "But you do have a point."

"I do?" Percy tried to hide his surprise.

"Yes, even a Weasley can be right sometimes." Pansy pursed her lips. "The majority of the Slytherins I know don't have jobs. And if it wasn't for the reputation of the family winery, I'd probably be joining them in the unemployment queues."

Percy nodded. "I just wanted to help," he said quietly.

"As do I. I can see the problems as well," Pansy said. A serious look crossed her face for a second before she grinned again. She tilted her head to the side and then her eyes brightened. "You know, we could team up. With my good looks and charm, we'd be unbeatable."

Percy cleared his throat. "So what do I bring to the equation?"

She smirked. "You're my pureblood, Gryffindor hero who's not hated by society. You can help me preserve my family name."

Percy scowled.

"Hey, you wanted to help! It's not like we need to get married or anything. We just work together." Pansy leaned backwards in bed and crossed her legs. "This way, you're definitely... helping."

Percy swallowed as he watched Pansy re-crossing her legs. She hadn't bothered to put anything on below the waist. He licked his lips. "Helping. Right." Percy could feel himself hardening. He longed to reach over and run his fingers over her thighs and clit.

With a wink, Pansy beckoned him forward.

"I think," Percy said, with a gasp as Pansy kissed a trail down his neck. "I think this partnership just might work." At least, this was _far_more interesting than cauldron bottoms.

-fin


End file.
